A lot of what I have been talking about on Taking Back Taylor has to do with me and my personal growth. Today I wanted to switch my focus and talk about other people’s growth. Since I have graduated from college, watching other people grow, whether it be in their personal life or professional career has been a struggle for me. I always feel as though my life is standing still, while other’s lives are charging full speed ahead. I feel that I have encountered numerous road blocks along this journey called adulthood, while other’s have seamlessly transitioned in their new roles.
I constantly feel stuck and honestly, sometimes I can’t feel proud and happy for my friends or family members who are achieving great things. I am just too discouraged. I can’t find the energy within me to congratulate them or wish them good luck. This feeling right here is one that I hate most of all. A cloud of guilt comes over me when I can’t show support to the people who love me most.
One example of this has been evident in the past few weeks of my life. Daniel and I have lived together for over two years and have gone through a ton, like most couples have. Surviving college and moving across the country has been nothing compared to the last couple months. I have been stuck in a rut, while Daniel has been soaring, specifically in his career. He has grown tremendously in his position and has taken on so many new and exciting responsibilities. Now I know I should be feeling excited and proud but, this has not been the case. All of these great changes Daniel is experiencing has left me feeling more scared and filled with anxiety than ever before.
The hardest part about this situation is that this is not how I want to feel. I don’t want to feel scared or anxious. I want to feel excited and proud. Recently, I have been working on creating this change. Although I don’t have the quick fix for this problem, here are a few tips that have been working for me:
- Saying the words, “I am proud of you” to my friend or family member. Even though this is sometimes almost impossible for me to get out, I know this is how I truly feel underneath all of my negative thoughts.
- Acting kindly and politely to everyone I come in contact with. When things aren’t going the way I had hoped, I try to take a step back and reflect on my actions. I ask myself, have I been putting out positive energy? Usually, the answer is no. My fix is to be a little nicer to the people around me. Smile to the person in the elevator next to you, hold the door for the person behind you, or offer a hand to someone. If I don’t give off positive energy than how can I expect it in return?
- Realizing that this is a part of your journey. You will not be here forever. This last part is the hardest for me. When I feel stuck, I convince myself that I will be here forever. In times like these, I tell myself the following: I got myself here so I can get myself out of here.